Wednesday, January 24, 2007

My proposed cure for the common cold

So last week I went to a conference in Ventura, California. I was very happy to be in sunny California while the rest of the nation was in a deep freeze. Granted, it was still chilly in Ventura, but no where near the rest of the country. Check out this cool video of some cars sliding around last week in Portland on the icey roads. I'm going to assume no one was physically hurt. Anyways, I got to the conference fit and healthy....well, "healthy" at least, I'm still working on the "fit." On the third day of the conference I was hit like a tonne of bricks with a nasty cold. Of the five people in the group from Utah, three of us got it bad. Probably about 20% of the other participants of the conference also had the cold by the end of our stay. I know this as the back third of the conference room seemed to become the sick bay, coughing and spluttering abounded. The cold is still lingering in my weakened body a week later and has now moved up from being a chest cold into a head cold. There are pros and cons to this, but that's a tangent. So as I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, it dawned on me, there is actually a cure for the common cold! It is as follows:

Every human being on the planet, at the same time, has to quarantine themselves for 1 month, maybe 2 months just to be sure.

That's it, that's the cure. Simple and elegent. To my knowledge (and you virologists out there can correct me if I am wrong) the common cold has no natural resevior in anything but humans, unlike the flu. So, with everyone sequestered seperately for 1-2 months, anyone carrying the cold, will fully recover from their cold, and pass the stage of being contagious. Thus, when we all emerge from our quarantine two months later, all the world's cold viruses will have met their end. Can I have my Nobel Prize now?

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